how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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