I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
