alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
