Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
