another moral hangover. fuck.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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