I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize