Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
