what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
