I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize