you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize