woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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