Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my shit smells like andre
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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