i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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