He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
