When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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