i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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