More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize