Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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