It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize