id be glad to
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize