You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize