yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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