so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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