alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someone came in the potted fern
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
