Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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