1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
