I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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