Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You're so nebulous sometimes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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