Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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