It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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