Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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