Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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