So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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