sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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