The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
