I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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