I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Randomize
