That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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