Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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