TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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