why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
