Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
