This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
