the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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