ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
