And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
