What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize