someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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