in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize