I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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