There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
