I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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