I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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