Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
