"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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