she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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