Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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