Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
