what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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