let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
