pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
